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No, Eric Schmidt, You Don't Deserve 100 Million More Dollars
Eric Schmidt used to be the CEO of Google, and now he's not. But the company just decided to reward him with $106 million—100 in stock, six in cash—as an annual bonus. That's about $80 million more...
View ArticleTwitter just released its first quarterly earnings report.
Twitter just released its first quarterly earnings report. With earnings of per share of 4 cents on revenue of $243 million, the company "well surpassed" estimated revenue, however user growth has...
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Everybody's Getting Corrupt Google Search Results Except Europe
For the first time ever, Google has given into regulatory pressure to change its search results. Today, the company reached a settlement with antitrust regulators in the European Union, thereby...
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Happy Belated Birthday, Facebook: Here's a Drunk Mark Zuckerberg
Facebook turned 10 yesterday, which means that if Mark Zuckerberg were still a middle-finger-swinging youth, he'd just be getting over his hangover. Instead, he's a perfectly groomed corporate...
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Silicon Valley Can't Stop Shit-Talking Itself on This New App
Posting secrets anonymously is an old idea on the internet, but Secret is special for one reason: so far it's completely taken over by gossiping techies, early adopters with lots of bile to unload....
View ArticleDesign Changes at Valleywag
The site looks different today! I know, I know—another iteration of our commenting system. I appreciate you all sticking through the perpetual flux, and I promise there's a lot of thoughtfulness at...
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Wendi Deng Doesn't Miss Eric Schmidt's Naked Body
Today in horrible images that'll make you beg outside a hospital for a lobotomy: Rubert Murdoch's ex is so glad to no longer be sexing Google's executive chairman. That makes seven billion of us.Read...
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AOL CEO Blames Selfish New 401k Plan on Two Pregnant Women
What could make Tim Armstrong a worse boss, at this point? Pouring beers on his employees while they work? Here's a good start: Capital New York reports two female AOL underlings were blamed for the...
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Tim Armstrong's Salary, in Distressed Babies
Apparently money is tight at AOL, as emergency medical expenses for two complicated pregnancies are enough to justify a 401k downgrade for the whole corporation. But Tim: what about all the money you...
View ArticleDefamer Aaron Sorkin: Philip Seymour Hoffman's Death Might Save Lives |...
Defamer Aaron Sorkin: Philip Seymour Hoffman's Death Might Save Lives | Paleofuture 8 Viral Sochi Olympics Photos That Are Total Lies | Regressing This New NBA Stat Is A Huge Step Forward For...
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HotelTonight CEO Sends Woman Tech Reporter Super Creepy Package
If you're the CEO of a startup that specializes in finding cheap, last-minute hotel rooms from your smartphone, don't send a young tech writer an unsolicited, bizarre signed photo of yourself and a...
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Live Next to Apple's CEO for Just $2.8 Million
Tim Cook won't have to worry about vibes from his corporate archenemy at home: the pad next to his is on the market, with a prominent Google exec moving out.Read more...
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Protesters Will Disrupt TechCrunch's Award Ceremony
The fabulous, 7th annual Crunchies—Silicon Valley's Teen Choice Awards—will kick off this coming Monday. As startup luminaries and the press converge on the Davies Symphony Hall in San Francisco, a...
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This Man Is Representing AOL on Live Television
If you work at AOL, here are two people that make more money than you: Chief Executive Prickhole Tim Armstrong, and this guy, David Shing, who is currently appearing on MSNBC to discuss his aimless,...
View ArticlePaleofuture The FDA Just Approved a PillCam The Jetsons Predicted 50 Years...
Paleofuture The FDA Just Approved a PillCam The Jetsons Predicted 50 Years Ago | Defamer Dylan Farrow Confronts Backlash: Woody Allen Is My "Sick, Evil Father" | Regressing Model Predicts That The U.S....
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Mother Says AOL Used Her "Distressed Baby" As a Corporate Scapegoat
In the midst of the strongest quarter AOL's had in a decade, CEO Tim Armstrong blamed retirement cutbacks on the traumatic childbirth experiences of two employees. If that seemed callous (and...
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Tim Armstrong Has a History of Targeting Pregnant Employees
Why on earth would AOL CEO Tim Armstrong blame "distressed babies" for cutting back retirement benefits? Perhaps because he has a history of flipping out when it comes to female employees with...
View ArticleTake a First Look at Mike Judge's Silicon Valley TV Show
There have been two shots at bringing startups to television: Bravo's catastrophe, and Amazon's mixed bag. Now the legendary Mike Judge is taking a stab with HBO, and based on a couple preliminary...
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The Tech Party So Obnoxious It Doesn't Seem Real
Silicon Valley must now be trying to make you hate it. There's no other explanation for the "Startup and Tech Mixer," an assemblage of 2,500 San Francisco techies who sipped cocktails, networked, rode...
View ArticleFor more than five months, between August 22, 2013 and February 4, 2014, your...
For more than five months, between August 22, 2013 and February 4, 2014, your private Instagram photos were vulnerable to hackers, according to the security researcher who let Facebook know.Read more...
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